Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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