Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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