I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
