you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
