Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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