it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
