You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
