So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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