But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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