***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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