There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
