ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
