DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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