I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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