After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
