Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
