And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
