Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
