If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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