Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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