am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
