is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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