I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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