Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
