so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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