GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
