I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
