I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
