Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
