I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
