remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
