ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's shark week go big or go home
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
