wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
