I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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