highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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