I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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