is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
