i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
