So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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