why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
