your thong is hanging out like whoa
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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