3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
