he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
