she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
