I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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