Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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