you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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