My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
