I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
