you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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